"Add to the festivities with some festive fun"
There's nothing much left to feel good about these days if you're British, but one of the few things where we all agree that we're still a world leader is our defining sense of humour.
Thematically covering every subject imaginable, from God to dogs, this collection is the seminal gathering of our national wit and a picture of who we are as a nation.
Paperback: 464 pages
Publisher: Ebury Press (3 Nov. 2005)
Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 3.5 x 20.3 cm
Average Customer Review:4 stars
Your question for £10: What is the capital of England? Is it: a) London b) Somewhere else c) Somewhere else entirely d) A worm.
French and Saunders
What is about Blackpool, this jewelled magnet, that draws the Barnsley jet-set back year after year? It is the death wish.
The show Goodnight, Vienna was being staged in Lewisham. On the third night the author, Eric Maschmitz, asked the doorman how the show was going. The doorman replied: 'About as well as Goodnight. Lewisbam would do in Vienna.'
I said, "Haggis is mince in a sheep's stomach,' and he went, 'What? They force-feed a sheep and then kill it?'
It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
Lord Glenconner was often embarrassed by his wife's exploits, and was
once heard to answer the question, 'Are you related?' with the evasive if
truthful reply, 'Only by marriage.'
I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
The average Englishman goes six months without crying depending on football results.
Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.
I am always pleased to see my friends, happy to be with my wife and family, but the high-spot of every day is when I first catch a glimpse of myself in the shaving mirror.
I am not conceited. It is just that I have a fondness for the good things
in life and I happen ro be one of them.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Although he did not believe in God himself, he somehow gave the impression that God believed in him.
As God once said — and I think, rightly...
Field Marshall Viscount Montgomery
I wrote a book called Humility. It was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.
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